Phones are not the villain

It would be easy to build a website that says phones are ruining love. We don’t think the evidence supports that, and we don’t think it would help anyone.

Screen time alone explains little

One of the largest analyses of screens and wellbeing looked at data from more than 300,000 adolescents in the U.S. and the U.K. It found that technology use explained at most 0.4% of the differences in their wellbeing. The researchers pointed out that eating potatoes had a similar association, and that sleep and eating breakfast mattered much more.¹

That study was about teenagers, not couples. But it’s a useful reminder: “how many hours” is a blunt measure, and most of what people do on phones is ordinary, useful or kind.

The phone on the table

In 2013, a widely shared experiment suggested that just having a phone visible during a conversation made strangers feel less close.² It became one of the most quoted findings about phones.

In 2021, researchers repeated it carefully in two studies. They did not find the same effect on relationship quality, and concluded that it is “at minimum harder to find” than had been assumed.³ We include both so you can see how science corrects itself.

When phones are in use, not just in sight

Other research looks at phones being used during time together. In one experiment, more than 300 people went out for a meal with friends or family. Some were asked to keep their phones on the table, others to put them away. Those with phones out enjoyed the meal a little less, about half a point on a seven-point scale, mostly because they felt more distracted.⁴

That’s a modest effect, and an honest one. It isn’t a disaster. It’s a small cost that adds up over many evenings.

So what is the problem?

We think it’s this: phones are good at holding our attention, and connection needs attention. The phone isn’t the enemy. We need our phones, and sometimes we’re working on them. The thing worth protecting is the small moment it can quietly replace.

That’s why Proxima doesn’t block apps, set limits or show you charts. It waits until you’ve both been on your phones for a while, and then gives you both one gentle nudge to look up.

---

Sources

1. Orben & Przybylski (2019). The association between adolescent well-being and digital technology use. Nature Human Behaviour. Summary from the Oxford Internet Institute.
2. Przybylski & Weinstein (2013). Can you connect with me now? How the presence of mobile communication technology influences face-to-face conversation quality. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
3. Linares & Sellier (2021). How bad is the mere presence of a phone? A replication of Przybylski and Weinstein (2013) and an extension to creativity. PLoS ONE 16(6).
4. Dwyer, Kushlev & Dunn (2018). Smartphone use undermines enjoyment of face-to-face social interactions. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. Summary from ScienceDaily.

Last reviewed 14 November 2026. Spotted an error? Tell us and we'll fix it. Read how we choose and label evidence.